I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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