WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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