you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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