Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
