Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
