Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize