What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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