I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
