I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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