awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
