I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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