My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
