just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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