If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Green mimosas i think yes
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
