I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
