The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize