Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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