all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
