He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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