he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
