I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
