so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
