he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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