forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
