It's like God shit irony all over that family
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize