My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
