In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
