I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
