We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
