I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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