Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
