No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
