it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
