I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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