Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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