I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You are the jesus of drinking
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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