Need sex. Gaining weight.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
