I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize