ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
