my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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