Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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