I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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