I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
