He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
