You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
