I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
