i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize