how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
