I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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