theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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