that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
