I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I wish I only lived at night.
birth control should be required to get into college
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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