Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
