i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
