She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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