She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
