i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
