Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I AM VODKA MAN
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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