she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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