I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
