That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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