We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
