i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
