I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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