i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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