I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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