Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Found your dick twin last night
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
