Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
