there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
