what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
