I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
